5 Proven Strategies to Help Your Picky Eater Enjoy Mealtimes

As parents, we all want our children to develop healthy eating habits. But picky eating can make mealtimes incredibly stressful. The good news is that research-backed strategies can help your child become more open to trying new foods—without battles or bribes. Here are five practical ways to encourage a positive relationship with food.

1. Share the Responsibility: You Decide What, When, and Where – They Decide How Much

Instead of pressuring your child to eat, focus on dividing responsibilities at mealtime. Your job as a parent is to decide what food is offered, when meals happen, and where they take place. Your child's job is to decide whether they eat and how much. This means no more bargaining for one more bite, no more "clean plate club" rewards, and no more serving separate meals for different family members.

This approach, called Ellyn Satter’s Division of Responsibility, helps children learn to regulate their own hunger and develop independence with food. By providing structure without forcing bites, you create a low-pressure environment where kids feel safe to explore new foods at their own pace.

This is the foundation for expanding the variety of foods your family eats. Starting here makes each of the following steps much easier.

2. Keep Trying: Introduce New Foods 8–15 Times

It's perfectly normal for kids to reject a new food the first time—that doesn't mean they'll never eat it! Research shows that repeated exposure (up to 15 times!) can significantly increase a child's acceptance of new foods.

Try these tips:

• Offer small tastes of the new food without pressure.

• Serve it in different ways (raw, cooked, mixed into a favorite dish, even with a little dip).

• Model enjoyment by eating the food yourself.

  
  

With patience and consistency, your child may surprise you by warming up to foods they once refused! Even a small taste helps their taste buds get used to, and eventually even like, the new flavor.

3. Serve Foods to be Visually Appealing 

Serve small portions. Large portions can feel overwhelming for picky eaters. Instead, serve tiny amounts—even just a single bite—of new foods. This makes it less daunting for kids to try something new and reduces food waste.

Pair new foods with favorites. Serving a new or less-liked food alongside familiar, well-liked options can also encourage trying new things.

For example:

• Pair broccoli with mac and cheese.

• Offer one bite of salmon next to their favorite rice.

• Put a few chickpeas next to apple slices.

  
  

This technique makes new foods feel less intimidating and more approachable.

4. Stay Neutral When Food is Refused

When kids refuse food, it's tempting to bargain, bribe, or coax—but these tactics can backfire and make mealtime stressful. Instead, try a neutral response:

• Instead of saying: “Just one more bite!” or “If you eat your veggies, you get dessert.”

• Try saying: “You don’t have to eat it, but it will be here if you want to try some later.” OR Ask them about their day!

  
  

When children feel less pressure, they’re more likely to approach food with curiosity rather than resistance. This also builds a foundation for a positive, lifelong relationship with food.

5. Make Mealtimes Enjoyable

Mealtimes should be about connection, not conflict. Once you sit down at the table, focus on enjoying some quality family time. Keep the experience positive with these simple habits:

• Set reasonable time limits for meals: This might be just 2-5 minutes for toddlers, 5-10 minutes for preschoolers, and 20-30 minutes for older children.

• Create fun conversations: Share jokes or stories from the day. Ask each family member to share something positive from their day, like something that made them smile, something they did to make someone else's day better, something they are proud of, or something they are grateful for. (Need inspiration? Check out these 50 Family Meal  Time Conversation Starters.)

• Give positive attention: Smile and show genuine interest in spending time with your family. Ask follow-up questions. Praise their efforts throughout the day (not just at mealtime). Remember, you're focusing on connection, not food intake (that's their job!).

• Keep the table screen-free: Yes, even for parents! Put phones away to create a dedicated time for connection with your kids.

  
  

When mealtimes are relaxed and enjoyable, children are more likely to eat well and develop a lifelong love for food.

Picky Eating and Chronic Health Conditions

For children with chronic health conditions—such as food allergies, gastrointestinal disorders, or diabetes—picky eating can be even more complicated. Medical treatments, dietary restrictions, or medications can affect appetite and food preferences, making mealtimes even more stressful.

The good news? The same five strategies work well for children with chronic health conditions and can actually help reduce food refusal behaviors over time.

If your child has a health condition that affects eating or if they are underweight, consult your child’s doctor. But by using these strategies consistently, you can make mealtimes a more positive experience for your whole family—regardless of dietary restrictions or medical needs.